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WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO IMPROVE YOUR SELF?
Sometimes, when all our doubts, fears and insecurities wrap ourselves
up, we always come up with the idea of “I wish I was somebody else.”
More often than not, we think and believe that someone or rather, most
people are better than us.- when in reality, the fact is, most people
are more scared than us.
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You spot a totally eye-catching girl sitting by herself at a party, casually
sipping on a glass of Asti Spumanti. You think to yourself, “she looks so
perfectly calm and confident.” But if you could read thru her transparent
mind, you would see a bunch of clouds of thoughts and you might just be
amazed that she’s thinking “are people talking about why I am seated here
alone?... Why don’t guys find me attractive? …I don’t like my ankles, they
look too skinny… I wish I was as intelligent as my best friend.”
We look at a young business entrepreneur and say “Wooh… what else could he
ask for?” He stares at himself at the mirror and murmur to himself, “I hate
my big eyes… I wonder why my friends won’t talk to me… I hope mom and dad
would still work things out.”
Isn’t it funny? We look at other people, envy them for looking so
outrageously perfect and wish we could trade places with them, while they
look at us and thinks of the same thing. We are insecure of other people who
themselves are insecure of us. We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of
self-confidence and lose hope in self improvement because we are enveloped
in quiet desperation.
Sometimes, you notice that you have an irritating habit like biting off your
finger nails, having a foul mouth, and you – of all people, is the last to
know.
I have a friend who never gets tired of talking. And in most conversations,
she is the only one who seems to be interested in the things she has to say.
So all of our other friends tend to avoid the circles whenever she’s around,
and she doesn’t notices how badly she became socially handicapped –
gradually affecting the people in her environment.
One key to self improvement is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend. Find
someone who you find comfort in opening up with even the most gentle topics
you want to discuss. Ask questions like “do you think I am ill-mannered?”,
“Do I always sound so argumentative?”, “Do I talk too loud?”, “Does my
breath smell?”, “Do I ever bore you when were together?”. In this way, the
other person will obviously know that you are interested in the process of
self improvement. Lend her your ears for comments and criticisms and don’t
give her answers like “Don’t exaggerate! That’s just the way I am!” Open up
your mind and heart as well. And in return, you may want to help your friend
with constructive criticism that will also help her improve her self.
One of Whitney Houston’s songs says “Learning to love yourself is the
greatest love of all.” True enough. In order to love others, you must love
yourself too. Remember, you cannot give what you do not have.
Before telling other people some ways on how to improve themselves, let them
see that you yourself is a representation and a product of self improvement.
Self improvement makes us better people, we then inspire other people, and
then the rest of the world will follow.
Stop thinking of yourselves as second-rate beings. Forget the repetitive
thought of “If only I was richer… if only I was thinner” and so on.
Accepting your true self is the first step to self improvement. We need to
stop comparing ourselves to others only to find out at the end that we’ve
got 10 more reasons to envy them.
We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had
better things, better features, better body parts, etc. But life need not to
be perfect for people to be happy about themselves.Self improvement and
loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are
perfect and you are the best. It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment.
When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel contented and
happy.
UNLOCK YOUR SELF IMPROVEMENT POWER
When we look at a certain object, a painting for example – we won’t be able
to appreciate what’s in it, what is painted and what else goes with it if
the painting is just an inch away from our face. But if we try to take it a
little further, we’ll have a clearer vision of the whole art work.
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We reach a point in our life when we are ready for change and a whole bunch
of information that will help us unlock our self improvement power. Until
then, something can be staring us right under our nose but we don’t see it.
The only time we think of unlocking our self improvement power is when
everything got worst. Take the frog principle for example –
Try placing Frog A in a pot of boiling water. What happens? He twerps! He
jumps off! Why? Because he is not able to tolerate sudden change in his
environment – the water’s temperature. Then try Frog B: place him in a luke
warm water, then turn the gas stove on. Wait til the water reaches a certain
boiling point. Frog B then thinks “Ooh… it’s a bit warm in here”.
People are like Frog B in general. Today, Anna thinks Carl hates her.
Tomorrow, Patrick walks up to her and told her he hates her. Anna stays the
same and doesn’t mind her what her friends says. The next day, she learned
that Kim and John also abhors her. Anna doesn’t realize at once the
importance and the need for self improvement until the entire community
hates her.
We learn our lessons when we experience pain. We finally see the warning
signs and signals when things get rough and tough. When do we realize that
we need to change diets? When none of our jeans and shirts would fit us.
When do we stop eating candies and chocolates? When all of our teeth has
fallen off. When do we realize that we need to stop smoking? When our lungs
have gone bad. When do we pray and ask for help? When we realize that we’re
gonna die tomorrow.
The only time most of us ever learn about unlocking our self improvement
power is when the whole world is crashing and falling apart. We think and
feel this way because it is not easy to change. But change becomes more
painful when we ignore it.
Change will happen, like it or hate it. At one point or another, we are all
going to experience different turning points in our life – and we are all
going to eventually unlock our self improvement power not because the world
says so, not because our friends are nagging us, but because we realized its
for our own good.
Happy people don’t just accept change, they embrace it. Now, you don’t have
to feel a tremendous heat before realizing the need for self improvement.
Unlocking your self improvement power means unlocking yourself up in the
cage of thought that “its just the way I am”. It is such a poor excuse for
people who fear and resist change. Most of us program our minds like
computers.
Jen repeatedly tells everyone that she doesn’t have the guts to be around
groups of people. She heard her mom, her dad, her sister, her teacher tell
the same things about her to other people. Over the years, that is what Jen
believes. She believes its her story. And what happens? Every time a great
crowd would troop over their house, in school, and in the community – she
tends to step back, shy away and lock herself up in a room. Jen didn’t only
believed in her story, she lived it.
Jen has to realize that she is not what she is in her story. Instead of
having her story post around her face for everyone to remember, she has to
have the spirit and show people “I am an important person and I should be
treated accordingly!”
Self improvement may not be everybody’s favorite word, but if we look at
things in a different point of view, we might have greater chances of
enjoying the whole process instead of counting the days until we are fully
improved. Three sessions in a week at the gym would result to a healthier
life, reading books instead of looking at porns will shape up a more
profound knowledge, going out with friends and peers will help you take a
step back from work and unwind. And just when you are enjoying the whole
process of unlocking your self improvement power, you’ll realize that you’re
beginning to take things light and become happy.

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